“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8
All the single ladies, all the single ladies: Put your hands up! I can imagine that many of you single ladies out there want what you don’t have. Marriage is a gift, a great gift, and it is honorable to desire it. God created it; therefore it is good as He intended it to be. Some of you have waited and longed for this for so long, that fear and doubt have become your companions. “Will I ever find Mr. Right? Am I going to be single forever?”
I know these thoughts all too well, because I thought them myself for a long time. As I watched my friends marry off one after the other, as I purchased yet another bridesmaid dress while constantly wondering if I would ever be the bride, I struggled with those same questions. For those of you that find yourself in that boat today, this post is for you.
How many of you have ever made a list, the basic criteria for your Mr. Right? I know I’m not the only one. I started my list when I was about 13 years old, and the older I got, the longer my list became. I had the perfect man described down to the very last detail. In my obsession over how this man should be, I missed a significant and very crucial piece. I overlooked a rather important question while I was thoroughly preoccupied with what my man needed to be…what kind of woman was I trying to be? I had this incredible resume written up for the perfect guy, but was I striving after those same qualities and characteristics in my own life? Did I care half as much about the kind of person I was becoming as much as I obsessed about how that one man would measure up some day? Because I should have.
Ladies, what I’m not saying to you today is that singleness is easy. It’s not. We were created for relationship, and the desire that you may have for marriage is a good thing. However, a good thing can become a bad thing when we turn it into a God thing. Do you see what I’m saying? When we elevate ANYTHING over God Himself in our lives (including our desire for marriage), we are in the wrong. And unfortunately, in our pursuit of Mr. Right, we can tend to overlook the importance of striving to become Mrs. Right. Don’t you think that there are guys out there with lists of their own? Godly men who want a godly woman? Men who are waiting to see women know who they are in Christ and act like it?
Take another look at 2 Peter 1:5-8. These would be a few good verses for you to commit to memory. They can serve as an incredible spiritual check-up from time to time. How are we doing on this? For starters, are you a woman of faith? If so, is goodness a defining quality of who you are? Do you know God’s Word (knowledge)? In a world that hurls every form of temptation your way on a daily basis, do you practice regular self-control? When the going gets tough, do you persevere and stick it out, not allowing the bumps in the road to steer you off course? Is your behavior godly, representing Jesus Christ? Are you a loving person, in both word and deed? These are the defining characteristics of a woman after God’s heart. This is the woman you want to be. Strive for this more than you strive for and pine after a man. Let this be your aim above all else – to be in increasing measure more like Jesus. Then and only then, your waiting won’t be in vain.