As I type these words, I am one week past my due date with our first child, a little boy. These past 41 weeks of life have been nothing short of a wild, adventurous, and exciting ride for my husband and I as we have prepared to welcome a third piece to our puzzle. I’ve loved the journey, I’ve complained about the journey, I’ve desperately prayed throughout the journey, and now that I’m literally at the end of the journey, I had to get some of these thoughts down on virtual paper.
So here you go, my thoughts on “before I become a mom.”
Something that I have been incredibly grateful for throughout this process is that most of my dearest friends have gone before me in this life-changing chapter. Many of my friends have multiple children, and I’ve had the privilege of learning vicariously through them as they parent their little ones. An added bonus is that most of my closest friends love Jesus and have sought to raise their children in the Lord the best they know how. I’ve always loved learning, and this has been so helpful for me to be a student in the classroom now for years before I enter parenthood myself.
Everyone has given us advice—some good, some bad. It’s been interesting to say the least to navigate everything that everyone has offered to us, but I have to say that this part has been fun for me, too. I’ve spent over a decade in full-time women’s ministry now, pouring over God’s Word so that I can pour God’s Word out of me onto others. God’s Word—the ultimate source of wisdom and truth. Therefore, everything that has been said and offered to us has been held up against that lens of infallible truth, and once again, I have found myself to be so grateful for the journey.
We have been told on countless occasions that our lives as we know them are about to change forever. True, they are. The interesting thing about this is that while we know this to be true in theory, we are clueless as to how this will be in practice. Still, we are filled with excitement and anticipation as we await to meet our son, knowing that it will come with some of the most difficult times we’ve probably ever faced, but also being confident of the fact that we will face every difficulty with our all-powerful, never-changing God. So, we rest in His grace.
I’ve been told that I am about to know a love for another like I’ve never known before. This one has been a bit hard for me to fully understand and swallow. Why? Because I love the Lord so much. Because I love my husband so much. I’ve never known love like I have known love from the both of them. Still, I am told that this will be so different, and I am excited about that, too. Why? Because I truly believe that I will come to know on an even deeper level God’s love for me as His child every time I look into the eyes of my own son.
So, on this side of motherhood, I wait in eager anticipation for all that the Lord has for me. I continue to press into Christ for everything that I need and for everything that I am about to face. I remain in a place of desperation for God, because without Him, I cannot do this. And I sit in places of praise, for He has done great things. He has made beauty from ashes. He has brought new life. He has deepened our faith and trust in Him. He, after all, is a good, good Father.